Eastbound and Down

Returning to South Africa and showing Jonathan a country I fell in love with ten years ago was one part of this trip I was ready for.  I was excited, proud, and not the least bit worried that I might be let down.  This was “the rainbow nation” full of exotic life, dramatic landscapes, and big toothy smiles.  This was a familiar place, and it was a extraordinary place.  So why do I feel disapointed?

Don’t get me wrong, we had a blast the six weeks we spent here with wonderful people and epic adventures!  But I left the country with a heartache that when talking to Jonathan about it, created teary eyes… multiple times.  This place, while still beautiful and full of sundowners and elephants is also still deeply seeded in racism and unchanged prejudice.

Where religion had been at the forefront of our experience in the Middle East, race played the prominent role in South Africa.  It was a part of nearly everything we did and was impossible to ignore.  It followed us from wine country where laborers were black and supervisors were white to seaside cities where race specific beaches sat next to one another.   When we told people our road trip itinerary, they looked at us with shock and asked us “why would you ever go there?” referring to the predominantly black region along the coast known as the Transkei.  Off the cuff comments were frequent from members of all generations and a fusion of fear, distrust, and bitterness lingered when race was mentioned.  I remember thinking 10 years ago that it felt like stepping back in time to 1960 in Alabama, and I regrettably must say, the feeling remained unchanged.  The progress I was excited to see had ceased.  It broke my heart.

Jonathan, Kathryn, and I had multiple conversations trying to sift and reason through the discrimination and prejudice we were witnessing.  After the initial shock for them and sorrow for me wore a bit, we started piecing together thoughts on how racism here was still so accepted and seen as only mildly obtrusive nearly 25 years after apartheid ended.  After hours of discussion in the car and speaking with Varun, one of our best educators in the beauty and complexity of being a South African, we settled on a few thoughts that by no means excuse the behavior, but perhaps start to explain it.

Nelson Mandela was and still is an icon to South Africa and the world.  He was loved by nearly everyone in South Africa, white and black.  Not only was he a politician and world leader, he was, most importantly, a uniter in a desperately divided country.  However, after a revolutionary leader leaves power, systems and people must be in place to keep the momentum and progress going.  Today’s government in South Africa is far from what Mandela had initiated, and the country is experiencing serious economic recession and corruption.  Older generations reverted back to their former thoughts, words, and actions while the newer generation who was too young during apartheid to develop extreme beliefs are starting careers and families at a time when things are starting to spiral downward.  Trust in the government and fellow men is waning and pessimism has set in.  It scares us to think about South Africa’s future.

Nostalgia is a tricky bug.  It is especially problematic when it is for a time when things were much easier, I was much more naive, and touched with optimistic ignorance.  When I studied in Stellenbosch a decade ago, I joined the school’s volleyball team.  It was a mixed bag of races with both natives and international students playing.  I saw teamwork and comradery between players and teams with seemingly no emphasis on race.  It was the place I felt the most comfortable, and blissfully watched Mandela’s dream in action.  Unfortunately, though on the court life was harmonic; I had no idea what it was like for my teammates of color once they left for home.  Now ten years later, it is setting in that racism was still very much alive and almost certainly experienced by my teammates.

There is a phenomenon in South Africa since the ending of apartheid known as “colorblind racism”.   It is the cry of many white South African’s that “the country must move beyond race” and that “they do not see color”.  Though nice to hear and easy for a comfortable white South Africans to say, it ignores the fact that for people of color, race still matters because they still experience it.  We found ourselves discussing the reality that, though unmistakable in South Africa, this “colorblind racism” is obviously happening all over the world with the United States being a prime victim.  Racial tensions have been all over the news in the U.S., and it would be completely inappropriate to assume only infrequent, extreme moments of prejudice occur.  We encountered multiple moments of frustration while traveling and discussing this issue. These problems are present at home and abroad, but we can never experience the subtle prejudice that is part of daily life for someone of color.  I feel mislead, disheartened, frustrated, and most of all… powerless.

Since South Africa, I have been doing some reading on proposed solutions for this global issue of “colorblind racism”.  Strategies range from promoting empathy, to increasing education and awareness, to focusing energy and empowerment of the minority communities.  They all seem broad and much too big for a privileged white American couple to completely tackle.  I suppose the conversations we had, the effort that went into writing this (it took me weeks), and the reflection it might promote to anyone who reads it, are a small place to start.

South Africa gave us beautiful land to explore, new friends who welcomed us openly, and a chance to grow in our thoughts and conversations. So, while not our most fun or light post, I hope it inspires some of the reflection and discussion in you (and future us, when we read this again) that we experienced while writing it.